Self love.

A long back when I asked my mom when will I fall in love, where is my prince charming? She said to me that there is a right time for everything to happen, till then let your life happen.

I never said I don't wanna fall in love, in fact falling in love with myself made me more aware of love, made me realize what love is exactly, made me realize how I should treat someone right. I don't know what others think but I feel that when you treat yourself right, you treat others right.

My idea of love is being myself and let the lover be himself too, my idea of love teaches me to let people breathe freely even while being with someone else. It's not his responsibility to build an empire for me, it's my responsibility to be the person I wish to be, no one has to do it for me, they just have to live it with me.

I am busy loving myself, I am exploring myself, I am finding myself, I am not looking for a lover because love must be looking for both of us and will find us at the right time. Till then and beyond that, it's me who should treat me right.

"A queen without a king is busy loving herself."

#CreditDikshasuman

P/s : Calm down and breathe.

 

Bibir Yang Luka.

 

Dengan bibir yang luka,

bagaimana harus menyebut,

kata-kata manis,

atau menegur dan menyapa,

teman dan kenalan,

yang tak pernah mengerti,

perit derita pengalaman.

Dan bila suara berdarah,

mulut dipenuhi kepedihan,

hanya mata dapat berbicara,

dan hati mentafsirkan,

erti dan makna --

penghidupan.

Cukuplah kiranya,

setiap kali bertemu,

menghulurkan tangan,

tetapi usahlah ditanya,

kenapa ada kegementaran,

dalam genggamannya.

#CreditWadiLetaSA

P/s : B e r s a b a r l a h.

Faith.

Having faith in Allah does not give you some form of immunity towards the problems and challenges of this life.

You can have faith in Allah and still feel sad, hurt, heartbroken and depressed. The thing about faith it is meant to restore hope within you and to remind you that there will be a better tomorrow, but as humans, Allah has created us with complex emotions and we were meant to feel them and yes, that includes feeling sad too.

The point of having faith is not to have problems or remain unfazed by them, it is to know that even in the depths of the darkness you are facing, you are never alone and Allah is always there with you. Your faith is not directly proportional to your emotions, feel them, validate them but know in your heart that better days will come, insyaAllah and you will get through this and there is light at the end of this tunnel, hold on a little more, and just a little more remains.

Salaah, du'a and the Quran are life vests to keep us afloat when we are drowning. It does not mean we won't be thrust in an ocean. It does not mean we won't sometimes feel like we can't breathe and like we are being dragged under.

But,

even when facing the highest wave, even if at times we are swallowing water and gasping for air, it is knowing we have some-One Who will bring us back and keepus afloat and help us get back to the safety of the land again.

And know that despite the negative ways others may make you feel, Allah is the One to Whom you can be vulnerable. Where we can shatter, where we can show every insecurity and know that we are still worthy.

The prophets (PBUH), has shown us that even when others do not understand, even though with your amount of worship, the struggles of life are incredibly overwhelming.

With Allah, you always have a safe place.

"Mental illness is a special trial, no bruises, no evidence. Just a silent battle that Allah has hidden from the world."

P / s: Hasbunallah Wa Ni'mal Wakeel

Terluka.

Kita yang terluka

dan mereka bilang

kita terlalu berlebihan.

Kita yang terluka

dan mereka bilang

kita terlalu mengada-ngada.

Kita yang terluka

dan mereka berpura-pura lupa

kalau mereka adalah sebabnya.

Padahal kita yang terluka

dan mereka tak tahu apa yang kita rasa.

 

P /s : Allahu Allah.

Qadr.

 

Destiny --

The universe has already figured out what happens to the heart afterwards. For you, who used to say hello when the rain never stopped.

The current me no longer wants to think about you, maybe the current busy-ness has caused this. In the stage of keeping myself busy, I have a lot to do so that wasted work and thoughts will be eliminated.

I don't think of you as something in vain, the business of thinking about you the heart plays a role, unfortunately it disturbs my concentration first, you know? My heart is often out of control, becomes restless and uncertain ; is forced to turn to something useful.

Do you still remember? Have you ever had to turn back the memory of that time? When it rains, for example. Is there an irregularity that I used to say. I know you realized from the start. Of course, it is clearly illustrated by your sudden silence and didn't decide to answer.

I am now only following the orders of His destiny. What will happen in the future, I believe His commands always lead to happiness for His servants. Thus, everything happened according to His will, including the presence of feelings that were difficult to define. Now is enough to complete the endeavor.

I took a breath, felt the happiness that I often ignore. I straightened my feelings, wiped the water that came out of the corner of my eye. Tears flowed along with the grievous wound planted inside.

I took notebook, part of which was filled with various writings from the heart. I record all the events that I think. Let all that is in the body pour out with prayer and pen.

If Allah inspires His servants who pray, He actually wants to give gifts.

Allah is the Almighty.

-

P/s : Think it's time I tell you the truth.

Muharram 1440H.

Tahun baru islam.

Moga makin bertambah amal dan bekal.

Bekal menuju sana.

--

Maafkan semua.

Benar semua orang buat salah. Dan semua orang juga berhak berubah. Semua orang berhak untuk dicintai Allah.

Hari esok masih ada, tapi belum pasti tetapi belum pasti untuk kita. Sama ada berpeluang atau tidak untuk bernafas keesokan harinya dan melihat senyuman dunia.

Alangkah baiknya jika lafaz dan fikiran kita adalah taubat, muhasabah serta perbanyakkan doa, moga kita sentiasa hidup dan mati dalam husnul khotimah ; pengakhiran hidup baik-baik saja.

Bukankah itu yang selalu menjadi harapan kita?

Moga kehadiran bulan baru dalam takwim hijriah ini menjadikan kita hamba yang lebih baik dan bertaqwa.

---

Jadi baik jangan tunggu usia tua kerana mati juga bisa datang saat kita masih muda.

Moga Tuhan selalu sayang 🍁

 credit #notapencarituhan #elheejrah

 

You.

I may have met you already, or maybe I haven't yet.

We maybe breathing the same air in this small, quiet city or maybe we are still thousands of miles away right now. I might get to be with you tomorrow or the next day or some years from now. But it doesn't matter because today, I am one day closer.

Right now, I am still in no rush. I probably am not that ready. I am still on the process of being my best self. If I get to meet you at this moment, you might not be my first priority yet. I still spend most of my time building up my career, and I still don't have time to bake for you when you crave for a slice of moist chocolate cake. But, I am preparing myself to become the independent woman that you could grow with.

You also should understand that I have flaws that took me more than twenty years to love. I don't know if you will learn to love them, but I hope you do. My hair doesn't stay in place most of the time, it always messily falls on my face. I don't have the prettiest hand to hold or the brightest eyes to look at. You might also find it weird how my nose wrinkles when I laugh. I am also not attractive when I am fast asleep, but who knows? Maybe those imperfections are what will make you love me even more.

I also want you to know that I am not scratch-free masterpiece. I've damaged a couple of times before. I've been cheated on and that's probably what made me distrustful. I've fought battles where I ended up losing. They probably made me tough. Tougher that needed, actually. You won't imagine how lost I have gotten before you came and how I've been dying for you to find me. I've been waiting for you to embrace the mess that I've become, but I also know that there will come a time that you would hurt me. However unlike the rest, seeing me hurt will hurt you twice as much.

Lastly, I want you to know that I am not easy to love. There will be times where I will get mad over the smallest things. I will always ask you to remind me that I am wanted, I would like to hear that over and over - upon seeing your face in the morning and before I close my eyes at night. I also want you to know that on rough days when I am at the verge of giving up, all you have to do is to lock me up in your arms because deep down, I don't want a second in my life without you.

Indeed above all these, I will always strive to be worthy. I will make the best coffee for you in the morning. I will be there for you after a long day at work and look at you like a superhero who just saved the world. I will give you everything that the past has failed to give you.

I will take all your pain away and I will be the only one you call "home".

---

Sometimes.

Sometimes when people become religious, they feel that it is necessary

to become the police for the rest of the world.

Whether it means belittling, insulting or condemning others.

We should always remember, the most religious from us was our Prophet (pbuh)

and he wasn't rude or obnoxious towards anyone.

None of us are wearing the clothing of the people of Paradise yet.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Show mercy and you will gained mercy.

Show respect and you will earn respect.

It really isn't difficult at all.

--

Take care.

Be kind.

May Allah blessed.

Akhir 2017.

  

Terima kasih untuk semua kenangan.

Terima kasih untuk setiap jatuh bangkit,

luka berdarah, ribut banjir

yang mendatang.

Sungguh,

banyak yang aku belajar.

Terlalu banyak.

---

Yang pergi --

terima kasih mewarnai kisah ini.

Yang baru kemari --

moga terus melakar memori.

Yang tak lokek disisi --

tetaplah temani hingga nafas terhenti.

Jangan pernah menyesal dengan apa yang terjadi.

Demi Tuhan,

manisnya kan menjengah nanti.

InsyaAllah.

Hidup mana yang tidak pahit, sulit.

Namun itulah rencahnya.

Buat kita merasa si namanya bahagia.

Sesekali menangislah.

Usah ditahan segala pedih.

Kita masih sebatas manusia.

Yang ada jiwa dan rasa.

Namun tetaplah terus berjuang.

Bukan untuk sesiapa, tetapi buat Tuhanmu cuma.

-----

Terima kasih untuk segala.

credit #perempuanmatahari

Bersendiri.

Malam ini aku rasa sunyi tanpa sebab.

Tiada bunyi.

Tiada rasa.

Hatiku denyutnya sendirian.

Seolah hati ini bagai tin kosong

yang luas jisimnya,

tapi kurang isinya.

Aku bingung apakah erti rasa ini?

-- 

Mungkin Allah beri aku ruang sendiri dan waktu,

untuk aku lebih kenal siapa aku

dalam aku.

Mother, i miss you.

Allah--

Wishes.

One year older, one year wiser

---

Semoga dipermudahkan jalan rezeki.

Semoga dikurniakan umur yang diberkati.

Semoga tidak menyakiti dan disakiti.

Semoga dicukupkan kesempatan berbakti untuk ibubapa.

-

SELAMAT HARI LAHIR

"You can't calm the storm, so stop trying.

What you can do is calm yourself, the storm will pass"

p/s :dirgahayu.